I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

This summer I was at a party. A bunch of us were sitting around and I mentioned that, in addition to my duties as minister of Interfaith Congregation in Holland, I was going to become, in the fall, minister of Harbor Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Muskegon. One of the people there, a retired university professor, said, “You know, I know a little something about the Unitarians. They’re very intellectual. Why did they hire you?” I have no idea. I’m not really intellectual. I find that now that I’ve been hired here I try to read more and watch TV less. And I do listen to NPR now! (Someone in the congregation: “You’re on the right path!”)

I was at Schuler Books in Grand Rapids a few weeks ago and I was in the Theology/Philosophy/Religion part, and I noticed there was a book, “Christianity for Dummies” and another book, “World Religions for Dummies.” But I didn’t see a book called “Unitarian Universalism for Dummies.” ‘Cause it’s not! I later went on Amazon.com and looked. It doesn’t exist. So I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I’m beginning my seventh year of ministry. While I’m grateful that I’m the minister of two churches, I have to admit that I’m not where I thought I’d be in my ministry. I thought I’d be kind of like Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Jesus by now. I thought I’d leave my house and dozens, if not hundreds of people would walk with me through town. There would be scribes writing down every profound thing I said. And everything I said would be profound. But that hasn’t happened.

I thought at the very least I wouldn’t be preaching sermons anymore. I’d just come to a place like this, maybe sit in a lotus position, and I’d just spew wise words, just off the top of my head. I didn’t think I’d still be agonizing over sermons. You know, this was an important sermon for me; I had to preach it in two different places. So I would wake up in the middle of the night and write things down on a little Post-It note. I can’t imagine Jesus doing that. I can’t imagine Jesus saying, “Oh, I’ve got that big Sermon on the Mount coming up.” I can’t imagine Jesus getting a big hammer and chisel and stone tablet and saying, (acts out chiseling on stone) “Oh, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers,’ that’ll preach! ‘Love your enemies,’ that’ll preach! ‘Forgive and you’ll be forgiven,’ that’ll preach!” So I’m not where I thought I’d be in my ministry. And I have to confess, I’m not where I thought I’d be in my personal life.

I thought by now I’d be perfect. Or at least close to perfect. I thought everything I did would be just right. And everything I said would be just right. No. About a month or two ago, I’m driving down the road, a four-lane divided road, and I’m in the left lane of two lanes. I stop at a stop light. After a few minutes the light turns green. I take off. After two or three seconds, the person behind me is honking her horn! What’s the matter? She’s doing one of these, (motions with hand to hurry up) like I’m not going fast enough. So I speed up a little bit, but apparently not fast enough, so she passes me on the right, pulls in front of me and then she slows down. So I get angry and get on the horn myself (makes a sound like a car horn blaring) for about a hundred yards. What am I thinking? What am I doing? I’m a minister! I’m not supposed to be about road rage. I’m supposed to be about street serenity.

A week or two ago, I went to the Women’s Equality Day Dinner in Muskegon, co-sponsored by the National Organization for Women, the local chapter, and my new church. Harbor Unitarian Universalist Congregation is a co-sponsor of this dinner. It was a wonderful dinner and a wonderful program. But before dinner we were sitting around our table, talking politics, and somebody mentions one of the presidential candidates. I won’t say her name, but I think she’s the only female running. Somebody says, “She believes women should be submissive to their husbands.” So I, Mr. Comedian, Mr. Funny Guy, Mr. Hilarity, say, “You know, that’s one point I agree with her on.” Stunned silence. I think I heard a couple of gasps. Everybody turns and looks at me and I say, “I’m just kidding!” But what was I thinking? Why did I say something like that? I mean, talk about inappropriate humor. You guys were there; you know I did this. Why don’t I learn? I’m not where I should be. I have some changes to make in my life.

The first time I ever heard Michael Jackson, he was part of the Jackson Five. I was in my teens and he was probably eight or nine. Back then I was a big fan of Casey Kasem. So I probably heard Michael Jackson for the first time on American Top Forty. (Imitating Casey Kasem’s voice) “This is Casey Kasem. Time now for that new smash by Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five.”

That’s not the song I want to talk about. The song I want to talk about came much later in Michael Jackson’s life. I think it’s one of the greatest songs he ever did. It’s a song called “Man in the Mirror.” Michael Jackson sings, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that – change.” Michael Jackson was speaking to me. He’s still speaking to me.

If you came here today and thought I was going to preach to you, I’m sorry to disappoint you. If you came here today thinking I was going to preach to the choir, I’m sorry to disappoint you. If you came here today thinking I was going to preach to the whole congregation, I’m sorry to disappoint you. This sermon is just for me. I’m the one who needs to hear this. In fact, probably most of my sermons are for me. I need to hear them more than anybody else does. I need to change that man in the mirror. I need to say the things I should say and do the things I should do. I don’t always.

Jesus. He’s somebody some people don’t like to hear about. I think it’s because they think the preacher’s going to talk about Jesus the God. Jesus, one third of the Holy Trinity. But that’s not how I talk about Jesus. I think that Jesus was who he said he was, he was the Son of Man, the Son of Adam, just like all of us are sons and daughters of Adam, metaphorically speaking. So when I talk about Jesus, I’m talking about Jesus the man, who said some profound things. One day Jesus was speaking to his disciples, who followed him a lot of the time. He said, “Don’t worry about the speck in your neighbor’s eye. Be concerned about the log in your own eye. You hypocrite! You try to take out the speck in your neighbor’s eye and yet, you ignore the log in your own.” Jesus is speaking to me. I do that all the time. I can pick out the flaw, and that’s what Jesus was talking about – don’t worry about the flaw in your neighbor before you worry about the flaw in yourself. Take care of your own flaws before you deal with somebody else’s. But I do that all the time. I can spot somebody’s flaws a mile away. My own? Mmm. Not so much. And I need to change that.

Henry David Thoreau was a brilliant writer. He wrote Walden. He was a transcendentalist. And a Unitarian – probably one of the most famous Unitarians ever. Henry David Thoreau said that if you want to change your thinking, you need to think something over and over and over again. If you want to think good, positive thoughts, think them over and over and over again. Don’t just think them once. Henry David Thoreau was speaking to me. I think a good positive thought once. Then I go back to my usual bad negative thoughts. But I need to think those good thoughts over and over and over again in order to change. In order to become the person that I need to become.

My favorite movie ever would probably not make anyone’s top ten list of the greatest movies ever. It probably wouldn’t even make my top ten list of the greatest movies ever, but it’s my favorite movie ever because it spoke to me at the time when it came out. The movie was “Bruce Almighty.” Jim Carrey played Bruce and God was played by Morgan Freeman – no relation. As far as I know. Before I tell you about the movie, in case you haven’t seen it, let me tell you a bit about my life at that point. It’s 2003, I had been a TV feature reporter – I did funny stories in the news. At that time – 2003 – I was going through a painful personal relationship and I was wondering, if God exists, does God even know that I exist? Does God care that I exist? Does God care that I’m going through all this personal pain? So one Friday night I decide that I’m just going to escape my life. I’m going to go see “Bruce Almighty,” this new comedy with Jim Carrey – I love Jim Carrey! So I go to the movies and, if you’ve never seen “Bruce Almighty,” Jim Carrey plays a TV feature reporter. He does funny stories in the news. He’s going through a painful personal relationship. And he’s wondering if God knows whether he exists, cares whether he exists. I didn’t go there and escape my life. I went there and saw my life writ large on the big screen!

Toward the end of the movie, Jim Carrey is walking in the middle of the street, calling out to God to show him the light. He falls down on his knees and a light comes upon him. Unfortunately it was the light from a Mack truck! He gets hit. He goes to heaven. Morgan Freeman says, “You can’t kneel down in the middle of the street, son, and expect to live to tell about it.” Then Morgan Freeman says to Jim Carrey, “You have a divine spark. You have the ability to make people laugh.” He said, “I know. I created you.” Jim Carrey says, “Quit bragging.” Now of course I know that Morgan Freeman wasn’t speaking to Bill Freeman. I know that was just a coincidence. That wasn’t providence. I’m becoming more and more intellectual. Of course I know.

Jim Carrey says he basically wants to see other people through God’s eyes. I tell you all that to tell you this. A month or two ago, I thought of this person I used to know, somebody I didn’t really like. I thought to myself, I wonder what that person I don’t really like is up to. I go to his Facebook page, hoping that he’s miserable. I go to his Facebook page and I see his face and I gasp, because I see him for the first time, if you will, with God’s eyes, with compassionate eyes. I don’t see him as a person I dislike. I see him as my brother.

Now I don’t tell you that story so you’ll think, “Wow, our new minister is really open-minded and compassionate and caring.” I tell you this story to say that I don’t do that enough. I don’t see people enough as my brothers and sisters. Sometimes I see people as people I don’t like. And I don’t like that about myself and I need to change.

When I was in seminary, now remember I went to Western Theological Seminary in Holland, where I was probably the most liberal person. Everyone else was pretty orthodox and very Christian. I had a classmate who was about my age, maybe a couple of years younger, and he had a son in the military. This was at the height of the Iraq war. Even though I was opposed to the Iraq war, every once in a while I would walk up to my classmate, and I’d give him a big hug and I’d say, “How’s your son doing?” Then one day I overheard my classmate talking to another classmate about me. I’m not sure if he wanted me to overhear this or what, but he said, “You know, I disagree with him about everything – politically, theologically, philosophically – I disagree with him completely. I should hate this guy. But every now and then he walks up to me and gives me a great big hug and says, ‘How’s your son doing?’ So I like him.”

Now I didn’t tell you that story so you’ll think, “Wow, our minister is so open-minded, so caring and compassionate. He goes up to people he disagrees with – politically and theologically and philosophically – and he gives them a big hug and he wonders about their lives.” No, I tell you that story because I don’t do that enough. There are people I disagree with - philosophically, theologically, and especially politically – whom I don’t see as my brother and my sister and I need to.

About a month ago, probably all of us saw on TV or heard on NPR about how the government was basically melting down in Washington. Democrats and Republicans were at each other’s throats over whether or not to raise the debt ceiling. It was just ugly. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. You didn’t want to look at it. But then, like a flower growing in the desert, in comes Gabbie Giffords to the floor of the House. Everything stops and everybody hugs Gabbie Giffords and everybody says hi to Gabbie Giffords, the woman who eight months before had been shot in the head, and yet, there she was, having the courage of her conviction, doing the right thing. Now I’m not saying she did the right thing because she voted for raising the debt limit; that’s not what I mean. She did the right thing by coming to Congress, by doing her duty, by accepting her responsibility and doing it. I hope that Gabbie Giffords inspires me to always do the right thing.

I don’t have any obstacles to overcome really. I’m not walking around having been shot in the head. She was able to do the right thing and I hope she inspires me to do the right thing because one day, sooner rather than later I hope, I’d like to look in the mirror and see that I’ve made those changes, look in the mirror and see, I hope, a better man and a better minister.