Wednesday, November 30, 2011

We All Could Use A Gelman Sometimes

David Letterman says of Regis Philbin that he’s the hardest working man in show business. Of course, you all know and I know and David Letterman knows that the hardest working man in show business is James Brown. Bur the argument could be made that Regis Philbin is the hardest working man in show business. He set a Guinness World Record for the most times in front of a television camera – sixteen thousand plus hours. He started back in the 50s in television. In 1962 he was Johnny Carson’s announcer. He was Joey Bishop’s sidekick in the sixties. For the past couple of decades, he’s been on the show “Live with Regis and” somebody – Kathie Lee or Kelly. He’s eighty years old. He looks better at eighty than I did at forty.

His producer on “Live with Regis and Kelly” is Michael Gelman. Regis is going to retire later this month. Whenever Regis needs something or whenever something goes wrong on the show or whenever he has a question, he shouts to the guy who would know, “Gelman! Gelman! Gelman!”

It’s like a catch phrase. Regis would be probably best known for the catch phrase he said on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” the prime time game show he hosted. “Is that your final answer?” When he yells for Gelman, it gets somewhat comical in a way. It was for my daughter a few of years ago when she was younger. If I needed the table set or something, I would yell, “Gelman, the table needs to be set!” She thought it was funny back then. I don’t think she’d think it was funny now.

We all need a fall guy sometimes. We all need someone to turn to for help. Regis turns to Gelman, The Skipper turns to Gilligan, “Gilligan!” Sometimes people turn to God, “God! Why is this happening in my life? God?” Gelman! Gillegan! God!

Sometimes we yell at ourselves. I didn’t realize this until a few weeks ago, but I do this. I went golfing with a parishioner, so, you know, I was working. When I missed a shot and the ball went into the woods or something, I would yell, “Willy!” Willy? Who’s Willy? I have no idea. My Gelman I guess. “Willy!” We all need a fall guy, somebody to yell at sometimes. And I thought that that was what this sermon was going to be about. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it’s about something deeper, something more meaningful.

According to the Hebrew scriptures, God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt into the Promised Land. But Moses objected. “God, you don’t want me, I’m not a very good speaker, I stutter. Take my brother Aaron.” But God wanted Moses. So Aaron helped out Moses. Aaron was Moses’ Gelman, I think, at least for a while. He was the guy Moses turned to. But I think over time their relationship evolved from a Gelman-like relationship to a friendship. They were friends. Moses need the friendship of Aaron to do what he had to do.

Jesus had a dozen Gelmans, people he yelled at sometimes. Perhaps no one more so than Peter. Their most Gelman-like encounter was when Jesus told the disciples that he was going to have to die, The authorities were going to kill him. Peter took Jesus aside and said, “Jesus, that can’t happen to you. They can’t kill you.” And Jesus uttered those famous words, “Get thee behind me, Gelman!” No. “Get thee behind me, Satan!” But their relationship evolved, too. Jesus himself said, “I no longer call you servants, I call you friends.” Jesus became friends with his disciples, including Peter.

When my daughter was three, four, five, six years old, we loved watching “Winnie the Pooh” and reading Winnie the Pooh books. Winnie the Pooh had all kinds of friends, Christopher Robin, Kanga and Roo, Tigger, Rabbit, Owl, Eeyore. Winnie the Pooh said, “If you live to be a hundred, I hope that I live to be a hundred minus one day, so I’m never without you.” That’s what friendship is all about. We want our friends to be there, always, with us.

Walter Winchell was a media figure even before my time, so I’m sure he was before many of your time. He was a newspaper columnist, radio commentator, television commentator back in the thirties, forties, fifties. He wore a hat and he had an unusual sign on for radio. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. North and South America, and all the ships at sea. Let’s go to press.” It was a little weird. But Walter Winchell knew about friendship. Walter Winchell said, “A friend is one who comes in when everyone else goes out.” In other words, when everybody else deserts us, a friend stays with us or comes to our aid, helps us out.

I guess most of you know that a couple of weeks ago I was arrested for civil disobedience in the city of Holland. I said I was going to occupy Holland’s City Hall for gay rights after they locked up the building. They locked up the building and I occupied it for about a minute and a half before the police arrested me, put my hands behind my back, handcuffed me, put me in the back of a patrol car, where I had about this much space [indicating a small amount of space with his hands]. Ugh! Very awkward situation. We were driving to the police department and I remembered what we tell our grandsons to say when they don’t have their seatbelt on. I didn’t have my seatbelt on. So I said, “I’m not buckled!” The police officer said, “I think you’ll be alright.”

We got to the police station where they asked me some questions, took a mug shot or two, took my fingerprints, my palm prints, the side of my hand prints, everything. They said that my bail was set at a hundred dollars and I could get out if I could produce a hundred dollars. All I had with me was sixty-four dollars. I left more money at home because I thought I might get arrested. So I called a friend of mine who’s a retired lawyer, and asked if he could come and bail me out. And he said, “Yeah, I can be there, I’m driving back from Grand Rapids, I’ll stop and get some money.” And he did and he bailed me out. We all need somebody like that in our lives. Somebody to literally or figuratively get us out of a sticky situation.

The next day, I got a call from another friend, Helen, who thought maybe I was still in jail and just wanted to find out how I was doing. We all need a friend like that, too. Somebody to check up on us and see how we’re doing.

Now I don’t want to brag, but I have hundreds of friends. On Facebook. I even know several of them. One of my Facebook friends sent out a story about this dog, who had some kind of disease of the eyes and it made him go blind. The dog just stumbled around for awhile until another dog showed up and helped the blind dog go wherever it needed to go, led that dog around. It was a friend. That dog was the eyes of the other dog. And we all need that in our lives, too. We all need somebody to help us along, whether we’re physically blind or spiritually blind, to help us along life’s path. We all need that sometimes.

In the movie, “Little Miss Sunshine,” a little girl wants to take part in the Little Miss Sunshine Contest in California. Her family tries to help her. If you haven’t seen “Little Miss Sunshine,” you should rent it or borrow it or go to Amazon and buy it so you can see it. It’s very, very good. She wants to go to California and her family, who are just a little quirky, they decide to go with her. So they pack up their rickety van that they have, and they take a road trip. Along the way, the little girl, who is about seven, wants to play a game. She plays different games. One of the games she plays is this eye test that she finds and she gives it to the other members of her family, including her older brother, who is in high school, whose dream it is to become a test pilot for the Air Force. She gives him the test and discovers that he’s color blind, so he can’t become a test pilot for the Air Force, it would disqualify him. His world came tumbling down. He was devastated. He freaked out. He made them stop the van. He walked twenty yards or so from the van and sat down. Nobody knew what to do for him or say to him. Then the little girl walked over to him, sat down, put her arms around him, didn’t say a word. She knew that’s what he needed. He needed someone to show him they cared. Someone to show him compassion. Someone to show empathy for his situation. We all need that sometimes. We all need somebody, not to say anything, but to come beside us and put their arm around us, show that they understand, show that they care, show that they have compassion for us in our situation.

One of my favorite songs is a song sung by four superstars – Dionne Warwick, Gladys Knight, Stevie Wonder, and Elton John. The song is, “That’s What Friends Are For.” They sing, “Keep smiling. Keep shining, knowing you can always count on me. Oh, for sure. ‘Cause I tell you that’s what friends are for. For good times and for bad times, I’ll be by your side forever more. That’s what friends are for.” That is what friends are for. People who tell us “Keep smiling, keep shining,” People who will always be by our side.

When Regis retires later this month, he’ll leave “Live with Regis and Kelly,” but I don’t think he’ll leave Gelman. I think I know enough about their relationship to know that they go out to lunch together, they go to dinner together, they socialize together with their wives. I think they are more than just “Star” and “Servant.” They’re friends.

I think we all need a friend. We all need somebody to be there for us, to bail us out – actually or metaphorically, to call us up and see how we’re doing, to help us along life’s path, to put their arm around us and show us compassion. And we all need to be a friend. We need to be the ones who bail someone out, call somebody up to see how they’re doing, to help lead someone along life’s path, to put our arm around them when they’re down and troubled. We all need to be a friend too. We all need a Gelman, and a Pete, and a Helen. We all need to be a Gelman and a Pete, and a Helen. We all need a friend and we all need to be a friend.

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